Sunday, November 10, 2013

Update .......

It's November...time really flies.
Sometimes I really feel that time flies really fast as I not able to catch up on the phase.
I really feel useless and many times I feel lost.

Sometimes I really feel envy with happy go lucky person because they always stay happy and no worry. Recently, there is some many things pop-up in my minds and I not sure what should I do........sometimes I feel hopeless on myself.

Sometimes I keep remind myself that don't think so much just follow your heart.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Lost confident......

Hello everyone .....
It's really been a long time I not really blogging.

I start lost confident on myself......
I have been worrying.......
Last time I always believe on myself....
I dare to make any decision ......but now I seem to be worry on lots of things....
I not sure......why?

Hopefully, this coming trip on October will enable me to gain back my confident.
At this point of time......I just need to hang ON !!!


Sunday, June 30, 2013

Hello ......

It's really have been long time I not really update on my blogs....
Seriously, I just don't know what should I write and any interesting happen to my life recently?

Guess....nothing really interesting happen in my life.
My life is normal and guess is too normal until I feel something is go wrong....hahaha.
I start to feel boring .........especially after complete my study.
Life is about working on weekdays and resting in weekend.

I am lazy to expand my circle of friends at all.......
Even now I lazy to go out / hang out / meet people......
Guess mum is worrying on me......

Yesterday she come my room and give me about 1 hours of lecture....and I just listen and nod my head......Seriously I know she is worry on me :)

Let's see if things really work as planned....
If not, then I guess is time for me to move out from this beloved island and get some experience in another place .......

Monday, June 3, 2013

Welcome June 2013

Another 6momths to end this memorable 2013.....
Life still goes on......nothing special happen.

I guess is time to review the goals of 2013....
Will you able to achieve what you have plan so far ?

Sunday, April 28, 2013

What my next step?

After the long journey of 3.5 years......I manage to complete the study. So, what next ...... ?

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Worry on ME :)

A quick update......

- My friends is worry on me as they are now very persistent to introduce more friends to me and enlarge my circle of friends. Since one of my friend really put lots of efforts on arranging lunch then I attended the lunch .....gosh it so weird but surely a good experience for me.

- Things really not happen as what you plan sometimes. April will be a tough months with my aunt admit to hospital ( today is the 4th day ) , my sister will deliver on this month and my convo will be next week. Everyone in the family look really busy and I guess I will lost my room for 1 month since aunt will be staying with us until fully recover. Luckily my mum is good and she just minor hurt on her leg.........

- Work ...nothing special. I still lost the passion as each time I thought I found it but in another second I lost it......

- Book a trip for next year  - Really hope I can make it !!!

Keep telling myself everything will be ok :)

Sunday, March 17, 2013

I need more sleep.....

It have been 2 weeks .....I had dreams every night....
Dreaming really make me tired.....I dont know why this happen.
This have cause me consume lots of panadol.... I think I finish at least 6 tablets.
Hmmmm......I really try to control myself not to consume any Panadol.

I do miss my old office location as well for the past  2 weeks because of the strategic location.
The old office is so convenience and when I am lazy or tired bro in law or sister can drop me to work......


Sunday, March 3, 2013

Oppps...30 years old ("@")

Officially I am 30 years old !!!
What really in my mind now is…. I really feel blessed and appreciate that GOD provide me with an understanding family and supportive friends. Guess when grow older I know how to appreciate more compare when young.

This Saturday my friend call me and tell me that her sister text her that she want to commit suicide…..and in my mind is what happen to this little girl. What I can do is just provide some advice as I think the best things I can do is listening and learning.  I am thinking and try to imagine what is her little sister is thinking when she send out the text………she just 23 years old.

Just wonder why sometimes I can provide support and advice but I cannot heal myself when I am in dilemma. Recently, I really try my  best to control my anger and emotional…..I just wonder when I have the courage to walk away from what am I doing. I guess I am worry on how people look on me.....that the reason why I am holding back my decision.

I have keep telling myself that everywhere is the same……this is working life. I just not sure how long this myth able to keep me stay in my current roles. I really not happy and do not have passion at all in my work. I am complaining and keep complaining.....seriously I really feel to accept unequal treatment is hard. I really wish there is Angel or miracle happen in my life such as win a lottery ticket and become and billionaire......guess this is the best soluation.


Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Happy Snake Year

Snake year and what is my new year resolutions......
I will start today post with snake year resolutions.......which should be snake more :)

Oh ya....I am officially out of the tunnel but I am preparing myself to face the hardest road along my journey by waiting someone to walk alone with me - hahahaha ( pressure from my dad, relative and friend during CNY ). Anyway, I promiseto take good care of myself.

Ok - here is the list of resolutions:
  • Vacation
  • Learn Guitar
  • Sports...sports.....sports - reduce my weight
  • Charity
  • Find a job that you loves
  • Be more happy
  • Learn to love myself more.....
  • Cook more, bake more......

This list look really general and guess this is the best for me......


Monday, January 28, 2013

January Recap.....

January Recap......

  • Brother back to home for 1 week.
  • Short vacation to Langkawi.
  • Feeling tired as this months I have hits at least 4 -5 days back at 8pm from office :(
  • Still feel dissapointed ... and thinking what should I do .....
  • Finish about half books of the Steve Jobs by Walter Issacson  ....
  • Finish my MBA-IB final - waiting for the results ...
  • Back to sports activities.
Ok, what else happen ...... Personally I still feel really tired mentally and feel uncertainty. I wish I really don't think about it but sometimes really cannot control. Thinking of tomorrow reporting to work after holiday really bad.

I really no motivation recently to work .......maybe because I cannot finish my work at all. Anyway, I still walking in the tunnel alone and it really colds and scary. Just wonder will I collapse due to I am really tired.

I also have lots of bad dreams and this really disturb my sleeping even during my vacation in Langkawi ......

  1. Dream of my car lost
  2. Dream of I have accident
  3. Dream of I have been hospitalized

What us the sign of all this bad alert for myself ?

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Dreams .....

I believe everyone have dreams.....
I just reading an article regarding "The Importance of Following Yours Dreams"

I am really looking forward for my Langkawi Trip....
I guess this is the time for me to re-think and plan on what I want in my next milestone of life.

Today I managed wake-up in the morning and join the speedbadminton games in Youth Park.
and as usual, I manage to expand my circle of friends by meeting some new peoples.....
Is kinda been long time, I not joining any activities.....

Looking forward for Chinese New Year 2013.........

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Third time have this thoughts in 2012

Again.....this pops up in my mind again.
Three time in 9 days ......
Just wonder what happen to me.....

April - officially 8 years in procurement.
Basically what have I achieved? Nothing.....
Have working in a company revenue about 6 billion USD, then move to a company which file a chapter 11 and current is a new set-up company in PEN.....

Is that a time for me to move to another industry which I have passion ..... give back to society or after 8 years I only realize that I not really fit in this areas.

I know I need to make a decision soon as I hate the feeling of doing what I dislike every week.
I cannot performance at all.......
Just stay tune for the next update.

Another thoughts in my mind is remove my FB account in 2013.
Not sure why I have this thought ........ maybe is time for me to work on something......

* This really a special place where can I write out my thoughts and get advice from my friends who is care for me as limited people have this blogs link  and do know me personally *


Monday, January 7, 2013

Feeling not good.....

10.26pm 7 JAN 2013.....
Feeling not good as super tired.......
What I am doing now..........something that I dislike but need to clear.
Gosh !!!!

You are right !!! I am emo now.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Great Weekend !!!

First weekend of the year 2013.....
In the morning, take care my little nephew....
It is really tired taking care of little monster but I am happy to play with him......

The rest of the day, I just watch youtube.....
I really can spend more than 8 hours browsing and I feel amaze with myself as well :)
After dinner, I just clean up my room.

Manage to re-read an old book "He's just not that into you".
I found this book when I am cleaning my room.......
If I remembered correctly, this is a book given by my sister 4-5 years back.

I not sure how true is the theory on this book regarding man.......but it was a nice book.


Friday, January 4, 2013

Spanish 2 - will this be my last paper for MBA ?

Will this be my last paper for the MBA course?
I really hope it will be as I don't want to retake this subject......
In my whole entire study journey, I never been so worry on examination....
but this round I am super duper worry...
I do think I prepare for the examination but I just don't know why I cannot really remember ....
This should be the easiest paper for the entire MBA course but for me this is the hardest paper because I have no interest on this language.......

Nothing much can do just patiently wait for the results on mid of February.
The worst case is just retake and I still able to complete the course by this years.

* I will only feel relief if I confirm complete my MBA course *

Below is my advice to those who plan to take the part-time MBA course :
  • Don't change job during the study period.
  • Don't defer your study.


Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Wrap Up 2012

Time really flies and again for me to write on the 2012 wrap-up......Overall it was a fanstactic year for me !!!  First let's refresh back the 2012 New Year Resolutions as below :
  • Spend more times with family member. - Partially achieve -
  • Open up my heart. - I am ..... -
  • Upgrade my skills especially in the tactical procurement (which I really dislike).      - I still dislike but keep improving -
  • Learn to be patient. (Biggest obstacle as I am not a really patient type of people).     -Learning hard for this as I still not good on this -
  • Ensure that my room will be 100% ready. - Done-
  • Get a study table.  -Done, with monitor as well-
  • Complete my MBA project management this year.  - Not able to complete -
  • Read more books, news and etc- Just manage to complete 5 books this year -
  • Plan a place for vacation . -Not really have a good vacation -
  • Don’t be lazy and try to groom to office. -Partially achieve -
  • Exercise and workout on my ideal weight. -Fail, as I put on weight -
  • Join at least 5 or more 10Km run. - Not manage to achieve 5 but have success for my first 21k -
  • Baking and cooking (I need to get a oven for the baking).  - oven bought , but less baking and cooking -
  • Be confident in myself and do align with heart & brain. -Heart and Brain still not allign as heart is more stronger -
  • Think positive and find enjoyment in what I am doing. -Trying hard and still not really achieve -.
  • Treat people good. -Trying to treat people with heart as really happy when some of them feel it :) -
  • Keep contact with the old friends no matter how busy. ( I will try to do this as I know I not really get in touch with most of my old friend due to my busy schedule).  - Trying but not really do that yet -
  • Save money - need to control spending. -Not really achieve as the India Trip really spend a lots -

Let's see some of the photo of 2012 :

New office Site - Batu Maung -
Donate Blood - Suntech Building -
First time - Bon Odori in Penang -
Chrsitmas Eve Dinner with 1988
First 21 Km Run

CNY gathering with beloved bro and sis - always miss you !!

HArd Rock Run - not join this round but team to collect shirts.

Herritage Walk while searching for the India Visa Centre

Trip to KL less than 24 hours to attend best friend wedding

                                     In newspaper........ :)
India Trip - very interesting and memorable trip

                                                             My cube......

Gotong-Royong event

CNY event

Donation Event

PDS training

Day trip to Perak with Tracy

Spanish 1 class - Pass the exam -
Trip to Teluk Intan with 1988
Spanish 2 class - exam 4 Jan -
Starwalk 2012 - First time -
Chirstmas Gift 2012 - received on 31 December 201